Here’s a little preface before I jump right in. Starting in January, I vowed to take more control of my fertility and begin charting and tracking my ovulation. I hadn’t been on birth control since October and, although we were pretty “careful”, I didn’t want to take a chance. Our plan was to start trying in August/September in hopes that we would get pregnant on the first or second try and when baby was born, Hubby would be off for the summer (he’s a teacher).
Joke. Was. On. Me.
Little did I know, I had already conceived. February came and almost fully went by when I realized I hadn’t had a period. I’m still breastfeeding so my initial thought was that it could be fine and just some fluke related to breastfeeding. Especially since I had just started having periods again in September and they had been weird ever since.
February 24th, I threw up in the morning. I had been feeling kind of “off” but we’d all had the flu about 100 times since November so I just figured I was coming down with something again but throwing up was a sure sign that I maybe, quite possibly, needed to take a test. Sure enough, the next morning, we got that BFP!
I’m not going to lie to you, I was not too excited about it. I ugly cried for about 15 minutes in the laundry room while my adorable then 16 month old stood staring at me like “crazy woman, what’s wrong with you?”. I wasn’t excited because it wasn’t what we had “planned”. I wasn’t excited because I don’t think I’m ready to share my attention with other kids, I haven’t had time to fully enjoy my son yet. I wasn’t excited because I threw up, something that I never did when pregnant with my son.
After a few days, it sunk in and I came to terms with it. Cool, we’re pregnant. Like it or not, we’re doing this.
I had my first OB appointment on March 12th at almost 9 weeks. I had a sono before I saw my OB. I’m lying on the table and the tech starts poking around checking my cervix and uterus and stuff. Then she gasps almost simultaneously as I do. Was that seriously two sacs?
Then I almost had a heart attack because I thought I saw a third sac but she reassures me that, no there’s not three. There’s only two.
WHEW! THANK GOD!
My head takes a bit to wrap around the idea of twins and I ugly cry in the room while waiting on the OB to come by.
Hubby is excited, the sono tech was excited, even the OB is excited. Me, however, not so much.
What’s going to happen to my desired VBAC? I can barely handle one kid at night, how will I now handle three? Not to mention the cost of daycare!
OB assures me that a VBAC is not completely off of the table – so long as both babies are in the right position and we are sent on our way to process. My way of processing is to drown my thoughts in Chinese buffet, don’t judge!
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Allesanda received her Bachelors in Behavioral Science from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette in December 2013. She now lives in North Texas with her husband and children. As a doula and educator of infant sleep and eco-friendly living, she blogs about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, holistic health, and parenting.